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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28758618">We Can't Hold it Together Forever</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rosethornss/pseuds/Rosethornss'>Rosethornss</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Bisexual Saihara Shuichi, Established Relationship, Hidden Relationship, Light Angst, M/M, Melodramatic Bois</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 04:41:07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,727</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28758618</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rosethornss/pseuds/Rosethornss</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Shuichi and Kokichi knew this was the last place they should be starting a relationship, but they did it anyway. </p><p>They know it's dangerous to let people find out, but it seems they can't avoid that either.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Harukawa Maki &amp; Momota Kaito, Momota Kaito &amp; Saihara Shuichi, Oma Kokichi/Saihara Shuichi</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>106</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Beginnings</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>So</p><p>I like this first chapters as a oneshot, and I think that if you want a story with any semblance of an ending, you might do well to keep it at that. However, this ran away from me—I <i>still</i> have more written that I haven't posted yet. This is my first long fic, and school is starting, and I really don't trust myself to find an ending anytime soon.</p><p>If you don't mind some delayed (hopefully) gratification, read on! If you'd rather wrap it up, keep it to chapter 1. </p><p>:)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>They each know the other has their reasons. Maybe it’s nerves, or pride, or fear, or shame… the idea that maybe an intimate relationship isn’t the best idea in their current situation—that showing people that there’s a way in, a weakness, can only do more harm than good.</p><p>Whatever the reasons, he’s tired of it.</p><p>Not that Shuichi is particularly fond of PDA (or any overt displays of affection really—he prefers the subtle mind-games and meaningful undertones of their interactions). And Kokichi always says they were meant to be secret lovers. He insists that in another life they must have been a gruff detective and a dashing phantom thief, chasing each other through the night (Shuichi… chooses not to comment too much on this after the love key fiasco. He still has to tell himself it was just investigation, as it had been until a couple unfortunate encounters which made him vow never to return to the casino area). </p><p>He just really, really doesn’t like lying. At least, not without a goal or clear need for it. Kokichi’s obvious teases and tales don’t bother him anymore, and… well, he doesn’t <i>like</i> lying during trials, but at least in the end they save… someone.</p><p>And it’s not like he’s very good at it either. He thinks Ryoma knew about their mutual interest before even Shuichi did. There was this look the boy gave him, when they had talked about his old girlfriend. Shuichi thought there had been something below the love and loss. Maybe understanding, probably not envy. Whatever it was, it was in response to something Shuichi hadn’t seen at the time.</p><p>He wants to brag about how proud he is of his partner. He needs someone to understand how his heart speeds up as deep, curious purple eyes investigate every nook and cranny of the academy, and how it drops when he sees the nearly-as-purple bruises marking up a pale throat. He just wants someone, <i>anyone</i> that he can talk to about it. </p><p>In another timeline, he thinks Kaede would have been that for him. Knowing her, she would have tried pushing the two together days earlier. Shuichi hadn’t even considered that… well, that either of them would be interested in another boy like that. Maybe he wouldn’t ever have if he hadn’t borne firsthand witness to Kaede’s overt interest in some of the other girls. Judging from Kokichi’s laughing fit after he had to explicitly tell the poor detective he was interested, the mutual interest wasn’t that subtle.</p><p>Kaede would have noticed. </p><p>No point in regretting the past—all Shuichi’s been working up towards is getting everyone to a better future. And to him, that doesn’t involve all this lying and sneaking around. It involves spending his free time with more than one person at a time, maybe bringing Kokichi along to training now and then. He’s been thinking back and forth on the point for a while—Kaito is so supportive of Maki despite her secret talent, and even if he gets physical sometimes he does it to motivate. Maybe, just maybe, if Shuichi shows Kaito his trust in Kokichi, the self-proclaimed luminary could open his arms for one more.</p><p>But he knows that’s nonsense, and that’s why he forces his small giggles into frustrated huffs when the other teases everyone at breakfast, and why he bites his tongue when the room fights back.</p>
<hr/><p>The game was trash to begin with, but even the simple pleasures are getting less and less fun. With wildcards like Angie and willing targets like Kirumi gone, every morning’s breakfast gets a little less “Haha, Miu’s a slut and Gonta doesn’t understand and for some reason that gives Kiyo a hard-on for humanity” and a little more “if you open your mouth one more time I’m holding you up by your neck again.” At first the latter was a bit fun too—you just aren’t living if you’re not pissing off an assassin who can’t kill you (he knows she won’t, at least not as things are now. She wants to live). But after the first few times and some panicked scolding from Shuichi, Kokichi has decided that maybe he doesn’t want to be choked any more and maybe having everyone always yelling around him isn’t the most pleasant thing in the world. </p><p>So he’s tried switching tactics: instead of pissing people off by directly antagonizing them, do it purely by existing. So much less effort, and honestly about the same result. </p><p>He stopped trying, but at this point that takes almost as much out of him. It’s almost like they wanted him to be an insufferable asshole, and when he stopped being as loud with his teasing and flirting they started looking at him like he was even more dangerous. Do they have so little trust in the detective that they think Kokichi could steal him away? Ha! At least they’re right about something.</p><p>All it really is at first is Kokichi being quieter. Sneaking up to his lover to watch him jump at a hug is a lot less energy than having to burst in and put on a show of crooning over his <i>beloved</i>. If he isn’t bouncing around the room insulting everyone, he can use that time to sit with Shuichi. He still steals his breakfast and flings bits of rice over at Kiibo every once in a while, but it’s all done with a little more… care. Tact, perhaps.</p><p>Then they graduate to touches under the table. Interlocked pinkies, real sappy shit. Shuichi initiates most of those. Kokichi notes that he’s getting bolder, but doesn’t think much of it. The others might be dumb, but they’re not blind. So he’s smart enough to keep it subtle.</p><p>When the detective notices Kokichi noticing is when things get dangerous. It’s a silent assent that what he’s doing is okay, that a bold leader doesn’t mind a bit of risk-taking. Shuichi knows as soon as something goes wrong it won’t be okay any more, that it’ll be his fault.</p><p>Shuichi knows something will go wrong. But that doesn’t stop him from letting himself smile at Kokichi and Miu’s banter (he knows it’s friendly now, after spending so much time with them). It doesn’t stop him from piling his plate with sweet berries he knows he won’t eat, but that his counterpart will pick off. They start spending more time together during daylight hours. Card games, cups of tea, impromptu investigations… They still want to get out—it’s impossible to forget where they are, with the stench of blood stuck in their minds and on the library shelves. The constant reminder that they could die, are <i>supposed</i> to die. So maybe it’s okay to indulge. Shuichi can handle some side-eyes and whatever weird look Tsumugi keeps giving him if it lets a little happiness into this awful academy. </p><p>When it all comes to a head, it’s a lie to say that neither boy was expecting it. But it still sucks. At least, that’s Kokichi’s professional opinion.</p>
<hr/><p>It’s not some big commotion at breakfast, like Shuichi expected. Rather, he’s got his head rested on Kokichi’s shoulder on the AV room couch, watching some mindless comedy the supreme leader mandated they watch. The other hates naps, but that doesn’t mean he won’t let Shuichi indulge. Shuichi’s mind is swimming somewhere between the weird side-plot and his increasingly stressful dreams when—</p><p>
  <b>BANG</b>
</p><p>“That’s it. You two are telling us exactly what’s going on here.”</p><p>Shuichi startles, falling halfway off the couch and nearly bringing Kokichi with him. </p><p>“What do you want from us.” Kokichi isn’t laughing, he doesn’t even turn around. Shuichi does, regretting even picking himself off the ground when he’s greeted with three, varyingly horrifying stares.</p><p>“Kaito, I-”</p><p>“Shuichi! Why are you even indulging this little maniac? I know you’re a detective, bro, but some things aren’t worth—”</p><p>“Excuse you.” Shuichi winces as the ice in Kokichi’s voice curtails even Maki’s attempt to speak up. “I’m not just some… some <i>investigation</i>. You’re such a fucking hypocrite.”</p><p>“Do you want to die?” </p><p>“Aww, is that all you ever have to say? Or did we break Little Miss Assassin.” His persona’s just barely slipped into place, but Shuichi can tell it’s wrong. </p><p>“Kokichi, you don’t have to-” Shuichi’s hand is swiftly knocked off the shorter boy’s arm with a glare much worse than anything he’d seen from Maki. He bites the inside of his cheek, trying to think up anything to say. To decide who he needs to say it to.</p><p>“Man, you always were weird, but you’ve really gone off the deep end, huh? Shuichi, what did I say to—”</p><p>“Stop talking to him when your problem is with me. I’m right here.”</p><p>“Maybe I could if you stopped cutting me off! I don’t know what you said to my sidekick to lure him in here, but there will be no more killing game on my watch! Or my name isn’t Kaito Momota, Luminary of—”</p><p>“OH FOR GOD’S SAKE DO YOU EVER SHUT UP!”</p><p>“We’re watching a movie.”</p><p>The final two statements are said at the same time, and it’s unclear which causes the following silence. Kaito looks torn between asking questions and socking Kokichi in the face. Only Maki’s brave enough to speak up before he resorts to the latter. </p><p>“So it’s true?”</p><p>It almost sounds unsure, and Kokichi’s only response is a blank stare. If it were Shuichi questioning him, he would pin it as a tell, that the boy isn’t hamming it up and playing along. If it weren’t Shuichi being questioned, maybe she would be fooled.</p><p>“What’s true? Maki Roll?”</p><p>“Miu was right, they’re together. And don’t call me that.” With that, she turns to leave the room. It takes about this long for Kaito to process, and Shuichi can see the gears turning in his head. </p><p>“They’re… You’re… Shuichi? You know we all want to help, you could’ve worked with us!”</p><p>“No you moron, we’re fucking!” Shuichi hides behind his hands, but doesn’t bother trying to deny anything, though he definitely has the time to. The next bout of silence is more painful than the first.</p><p>“I thought you liked Kaede?”</p><p>“I… I think I did.”</p><p>The astronaut squeaks out the question as his expression shifts from confusion to horror, and for a second after the response it looks like he’s about ready to hit one or both of them. Instead, Shuichi watches as his shoulders slouch and he turns to leave.</p><p>“I’ll... just leave you two be then, I guess.”</p><p>And then he does.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Confrontations</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>They aren’t left alone, though. When they’re alone it’s soft cuddles and reassurances, when they’re alone they have enough hope left to investigate and to theorize and to <i>think</i>. It’s not clear like that now. The air feels heavy, oppressive, and for the first time since the night of Kirumi’s trial Shuichi thinks he’d rather be by himself. </p><p>He’s not sure, then, why he grabs Kokichi’s sleeve when he stands to leave. The pained look on the boy’s face says that he, like Shuichi, is not enthusiastic about the conversation they’re about to have. </p><p>“We need to talk about this.”</p><p>“Wow, Mister Detective, what gave you that idea?”</p><p>“Kokichi, please.” The grin Kokichi had managed to plaster on vanishes as soon as it’s confirmed that he isn’t teasing his way out of the discussion.</p><p>“Talk about what, Shuichi? What do you want me to say? It’s obvious you didn’t want to hide it anymore, so there, it’s not hidden!”</p><p>“I… if I wanted them to know I would have asked if I could tell them, I… this wasn’t either of our faults, Kokichi.”</p><p>“Oh yeah? I’m pretty sure the only reason this didn’t happen earlier is because that moron wouldn’t know gay if it hit him with a ton of glittery bricks. If the pig bitch was able to notice, we weren’t being careful.”</p><p>“We don’t know if she actually… you know how Miu is.” Shuichi stops himself short from trying to defend Miu’s intelligence, because he knows it’s not the time. One wrong move and Kokichi runs. “Also, it… it doesn’t matter at this point. Nothing changes, we’ll—”</p><p>“NOTHING CHANGES?” Shuichi’s heard his partner gleefully mock corpses, he’s heard him hurl obscenities and other cries into the void, or at whatever cameras were out there watching them. But it’s different being on the receiving end.</p><p>Shuichi is afraid.</p><p>“They hate me, Shuichi. They probably hate you now, too. Well, isn’t that just perfect! Maybe without all your dumb buddy-buddy free time chats we’ll have more time to investigate. Is that what you wanted?”</p><p>“Kokichi, <i>please</i>…”</p><p>“Is that all you can say now?” Kokichi takes a few steps forward and leans down, walking his fingers up Shuichi’s chest. “Listen here, <i>Shumai</i>. You wanted to do this thing, so you’re dealing with the repercussions. I don’t want to wake up tomorrow and find some moron ringing my doorbell trying to ‘get to know me better.’ And believe it or not, I <i>don’t</i> want anybody killing me now that they realize I’m the perfect target. So I don’t really care what you do, just—”</p><p>He cuts off at the sound of the clunky AV room door sliding open once again, this time not quite as aggressively. Shuichi watches Kokichi’s fingers pull at already-messy hair, and realizes that he should probably be in charge of conversations for a while. </p><p>“Shuichi! Kokichi! Gonta hear yelling, everybody okay?”</p><p>“Uh, yeah, we’re fine, Gonta. Just watching a movie.”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah! You probably heard Shuichi screaming, he’s absolutely terrified. And it’s not even a scary movie!” So much for being in charge of conversations. Kokichi looks almost manic. “Actually, I have some supreme leader business to be off to, I just didn’t want to leave poor Shumai all alone.”</p><p>“Oh, Gonta can help! Will help Shuichi not be scared, so Kokichi can go do his work!”</p><p>“You’d really do that Gonta? You really are a gentleman! I’ll leave you two be, then.” </p><p>He spits the last part out like a cobra, then vanishes. Gonta seems immune to the venom, and sits himself down next to Shuichi with a grin a mile wide. Damnit, there’s no way Shuichi’s escaping this anytime soon.</p>
<hr/><p>Damn Kokichi and his meddling, always! It’s always him! Maki feels like she’s back at the orphanage, but even then the kids were never more than annoyances. Kokichi’s a nuisance, and Maki’s a fool for letting her guard down around him a second time.<br/>
But she has to wonder why she’s so frustrated. It’s not like it’s hurting her. If the class—or what’s left of it—is busy making some stupid deal out of this, it’s only that many fewer eyes on her. She’s the winner here.</p><p>And yet, she feels… </p><p>Confused is definitely the first word that comes to mind—not that hormonal teenagers forced to interact with the same handful of people day in day out would grow emotional attachment. That’s, unfortunately, basic psychology. No, her first thoughts are “why him?” She’s sure as hell not jealous, just not looking forward to the little shit getting validation. </p><p>But he’s had it for a while now, and she hadn’t really noticed any difference, had she? Miu made it sound like it was the most obvious thing in the world, that they were together. Maki trained with Shuichi almost every night, she… she considers him a friend. And she didn’t know. Should she have known? </p><p>Maki’s restless feet have made their way to her lab without consulting her mind, but that’s fine with her. She’s not really sure what more she can say to Kaito, and her only other confidante is otherwise occupied. She’s moving automatically when she starts plucking daggers from their case and flinging them across the room. </p><p><i>Thwip</i>. She isn’t mad that Shuichi kept a secret. She would have no right to be, after all. <i>Thunk</i>. <i>Thwip</i>. He’s smart enough to have reasons to do so, and she should be reasonable enough not to search for one. <i>Thunk</i>. So, aside from the mere existence of Kokichi—<i>thwip</i>—what’s pissing her off so much?</p><p><i>Thunk</i>.</p><p>“Why him?”</p><p>She lets the last dagger clatter onto the table and leans back, sliding down the throwing range cage.</p><p>Maybe she is jealous. But of what?</p>
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